I got pre-occupied with parenting to help my son prepare for his quarterly exams and nursing my sons from fever and also training for the dragon boat competition that my wanting to write took a backseat. But of course there’s that nudging in my heart to do simple scribbling just by thinking and looking at my single friends. More than getting excited to hear just cheesy stories about love affairs that transpired with people I know, I am keenly interested to learn that I am surrounded by men and women who are ready to dive and swim in the sea of love with their special someone. And yet, they do not have any qualm that being single is just a season in life and God has good intention that they will build godly families in their lifetime so that they can leave a legacy to their future generation.
Growing up, I love hearing stories from my grandparents and my relatives about how my lolo and lola met accidentally or how my uncle was able to serenade my aunt and win her her heart. I don’t get tired hearing them and even if I heard them so many times, I would really be twitterpated (translation for kilig) and that’s when I started dreaming of my own great love story one day and true enough I got my own share of love. Although this note is not intended to share my love story but this is written for the single professionals who may or may not be bothered for now of their status of just staying single or looking for a lifetime partner. But one day you will find yourself thinking of how God will orchestrate your love story. I have encountered men and women who are “ripe” for picking and yet not interested or not even searching or even likes someone but never ever dared to ask her out. Sometimes I would hear so many excuses but deep inside there’s that longing to be with someone. Yes, I know there are questions of who to choose, top three non negotiable qualities to look for in a partner, right timing, etc. but it is always good to know that when you have the right reasons to love someone in the future then it will not be hard to look, search and find your one true love.
How to start your love story? You must have a VISION for marriage. You cannot have something unless you want or desire or need it. If you have good intention to have a family of your own then you can start or plan now to decide to love someone. It always start with a willingness and a determination. I don’t mean you have to stand from your chair right now and go get someone to wed. All you need to do is start praying about what you want for your future mate and ask God to help you build your character to make you the right person. If it’s just a thought of dating a girl/boy without looking forward of marrying her/him then you might end up searching for a new one. Don’t just go to a department store and on impulse just buy what you see. You need to at least have to make up your mind on what style, color or for what occasion that would best fit your body type and how much money you have in your wallet. Or else you will end up with another piece of clothing inside your cabinet never worn.
You cannot love someone unless you have been loved or felt love by anyone at all. I am sure you have or even tried to show your affection to God, your family, friends or even your officemates. Then you can love someone if you want to. I think what’s hindering us normally from looking for a partner even if you can already love is FEAR. The Bible tells us that there’s no fear in perfect love because love drives out fear. Sometimes we tend to magnify the ugliness of the opposite of love or good marriage and tell yourself I might end up with the wrong person. You might have been hurt by your previous lover and end up broken hearted. And you don’t want to put yourself in the same ordeal again.
Be reminded that when you allow God to help you then you will never go wrong. Creating your love story starts with a good intention in mind that you have made a decision to love someone wholeheartedly. Check and ask yourself, “Have I tried practicing to give love and show affection to someone dear to me who is not yet my lover?”. If you made time just to go home on a weekend to be with your parents because you miss them, then this is love. If you stayed with your brother to help with his homework than go on a gimmick with friends then this is love. Even with your busy schedule and work overload you still found yourself go to your friend’s birthday party before the clock struck midnight, then it’s love. During the monsoon rains, instead of staying home, you went out of your way and volunteered to give relief goods then it’s love.
When we become unselfish and selfless and look for the welfare of others then you are already manifesting the signs of love. Because staying in love with someone always require dying to self. You must learn to embrace patience, humility, kindness, etc. in order for love to work. All of us will never be perfect for love but with our imperfections someone can choose to overlook it and choose to love us anyway. I know that God has designed you to love and it is His good intention that you can share it with someone. You are destined to be with someone in this lifetime.
Start dreaming of a family that you would be proud to have in the future. It would be nice that your grandchildren will get excited to hear your love story again and again. Then look at yourself. Do a little heart talk with God. Are there still areas of your life that are not right with Him? Then ask for forgiveness and let Christ help transform you and be the person that He wants you to be. Are there characteristics that you don’t want to see in your future children? Then ask God to help you change. Do you like what you see in the mirror? If not, go to the dermatologist or head to the gym and lose some weight. Or maybe you just need to put a little make-up to brighten your face or change your wardrobe and be cool. Nothing beats feeling good and looking good because you will exude confidence and beauty inside out. Maybe you can go on personality development or speech class to enhance yourself. Read a lot of books so that you will gain a lot of knowledge and being wise is always a plus factor on someone. Don’t be shy and ask your friends or siblings (and not your parents because they always exaggerate about their children, hehe) what are the things you need to improve about yourself. It’s always good to hear opinions of your friends because they know you pretty well. These are just practical ways on self-improvement and you can still do more. More than looking for the right qualities of your partner, start looking at yourself and make a better version of you for her/him before you meet.
Only you can determine when do you plan to start to write your love story. Even if people keep pushing you to start looking and go on a date, if you don’t DECIDE then nothing happens. Rely on God to lead you the right person He has already prepared for you. If you will not start praying for one, search for a partner and save yourself for the future then no love story will ever occur. I hope your motivation is derived from a beautiful portrait of love of your own family someday.
Picture from: http://thebensonjourney.blogspot.com/2011/02/love-story-overview.html